"lasts"

So I just finished Friday of week......let me calculate ....... 41/42!!!! Wow!! I snapped a bunch of cheesy class photos today much to the dismay of my students. I'm getting sentimental in my final days!! I already lost three students early who had to leave for various reasons. When one student, Brandon, took his final today I almost cried!

This weekend is the last "normal" weekend. Next week I have one normal day of teaching (review), then Tuesday-Thursday is finals. Most days are pretty short for the high school teachers (aha!) so I'm going to be busy grading, cleaning, and packing!!!! I just can't believe it's coming to a close. Sunday is the little Kindergartner's graduation (awwwwww) and Thursday is 8th grade and Sunday my seniors are all graduated!! Yikes. I don't really have anything else to say about leaving. I'm not really ready to process it. I feel like a huge tsunami is building in front of me and I'll just try and prepare as much as possible for it to strike! I'm guessing it will strike sometime next week. But maybe not until I'm actually saying goodbye and leaving my Island home for good. If there was a see-saw in my brain, one side would be the excitement of coming home, and the other would be the devastation of leaving. They go back and forth all the time. Today I was more sad about leaving. It was my last Friday teaching ever....too many "lasts" and I'm not happy about it...

I really have fallen in love here. My heart is torn in two. I hope someone perfects the "Transporter" from Star Trek so I can just beam back here next month. Pray for me as I say my goodbyes, get everything ready for the return, and go through sad tearful goodbyes with so many people I have grown to love.

:) I am very excited to go home though. It has been a long, long time since I've seen my beautiful Columbia River Gorge and that gorgeous PDX airport!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MONDAYS

No matter how much sleep I get. No matter how much water I drink. No matter how big a breakfast I eat. Monday's always suck. I always go to bed on Sunday night and wake up Monday morning with the same prayer (more or less)

"Dear God, please help me sleep and be well rested for what tomorrow brings. Help me show these kids Your love. Help me be patient and kind and loving at all times. Give me an opportunity to witness to them. Give me the strength to get through the day without feeling exhausted. Be with me always. Amen"

Yet 7th period comes around and I get up to teach my THIRD world history class of the day and words start spewing out that aren't so nice and loving and kind. For example:

"I only ask for FORTY MINUTES of your DAY to be respectful and attentive in class. That is ALL. If you can't HANDLE that I'm fearful of your FUTURE" - Ms. Kellar, 5/7/12 2:30pm.

Whoops. I mean, I guess that's not totally cruel but it's not really loving....especially in front of the whole class. It didn't help the whole class either except got a few of the students nervous and quiet. 7th period always does me in. I don't know why but it's always the most hot on Monday. I've had a really headache since Thursday (after my team WON the state debate! More on that later....). I think it's just all the anxiety and stress of prepping for that debate sort of accumulating into a big giant headache. Today sucked. My lectures were boring even to me because I was just sick of it all. I was confused about what I was even SAYING! Mussolini made a pact with ...Hitler? Or did I say Stalin? Or Daladier?  Oh no. Sech. Nan sech. I'm falling asleep listening to myself.

Tomorrow will be better. God doesn't give us what we ask right away or maybe even at all. But He always answers. I know. I just really wish He would answer on Monday.


Only TWO more mondays to go. So I guess I'll survive. :-)